The Art of Irish Chat Up Lines

Posted on December 1, 2009


A few weeks ago, I ventured to Kilkenny city for a hen party. Langton’s at closing time. My sister, a few of the hens, the bride (hammered) and I were sitting at a table trying to decide whether to venture to the resident’s bar or stumble off to bed.


Cue, a very drunk man sitting down next to my sister (who’s not single) and saying a few words to her. She quickly dispatches him. I stand up to go tell her I’m heading to bed when my path is intercepted by the same drunken man, once again chancing his arm. The following is a close enough memory of the conversation:


Drunk Guy: How are you, is there any possibility like, you’d give us a kiss.


Me: You were just chatting up my sister, five seconds ago.


Drunk Guy: I know. But that was before I saw you and your marvelous rack…


Moment of surprise 1: the fact that he had sheer balls to admit I was his second choice after my own sister!


Moment of surprise 2: the fact that he was capable of using the word marvelous in a sentence, such was his complete inebriation.


Needless to say, his chat up lines didn’t work on this hen.